The Bad Cat Trifecta

I love my cat, I really do. It is hard not to, most of the time. He has this adorable under-bite (something that is more common in dogs than cats) that causes him to drool a little every now and again and his tongue will occasionally stick out a little when he sleeps. Cute no? He is absolutely fascinated by shadows moving in bright light to the point one has to wonder just how low his IQ level is. He also is a total sweetheart, who loves to snuggle and will start purring just because the dogs are outside and he is alone with his humans for a change. However, he has his moments, last week he hit all three of his bad cat highlights in one day.

Buddy is a little special, and I do mean that in the shortbus kind of way. He apparently, according to the vet, gets stressed out easily and when he does his bladder lets loose on the sofa...only the sofa. This stress issue of his has lead to a major stress issue for me. Nice of him to share isn't it?

In my old apartment I used to have a futon for this reason. It was easy to wash the covering and bleach the living daylights out of the mattress, and when that failed to rid the odor, the mattress was cheap and easy to replace. When I moved into my house I quickly learned a new trick, one that has enabled me to feel bold enough to get a grown up couch. When we go to bed, we pile all kinds of stuff on the sofa and loveseat so that the kitty cannot find any open space to perch on much less relieve his bladder on . It has worked successfully for quite a few years.

It is annoying because it means I keep a small amount of clutter in my living room just for this purpose and I have to religiously stack the sofas every evening and unstack them again every morning. But it sure beats the alternative.

Anyhow, my boyfriend has been bonding with Buddy more and more lately. Which is good, he used to go on and on about how he loathed cats, to which he was told again and again "tough nuggies, love me, love my furballs." This is also bad because it has lead to him trusting my little orange hairbag, something I have learned the folly of the hard way, years ago. He had a successful day with him a few weeks back. He got up before me and the dogs. He cleared off the sofas early and went into the library to do some work on the computer. Leaving the cat unattended with the sofas. Bad move, right? Nothing happened. When I woke up and saw the cat perched on the big sofa looking like the prince of Egypt...I was told that my anxiety was all for naught. Silly him.

So he repeated the same scenario this past week thinking, all so misguidedly, that Buddy was just misunderstood and needed to be given a chance to prove he has gotten over his issues. Again, silly him. Sure enough not a minute after I woke up and saw the cat on the sofa all unattended-like, there was a puddle for me to clean up, oh joy. Cleaning cat pee off the sofa, just the way to greet the morning.

After the cushions were properly stripped of their covers and placed in the washing machine to soak in hot water with a smidgen of bleach, and the sofa base dowsed with vinegar (if it is fresh, the vinegar will neutralize the urine smell, it actually works...if it is really fresh) we turned to look for the cat. He was on the throw rug in the kitchen, waiting for his audience. No sooner then he saw both sets of our eyes glued to him, he proceeded to yak up on the rug. A rug that I had just washed the day before. He then ran from the kitchen into the bathroom as I cleaned up his kitty food vomit. When I was done with that little chore, I found him in the shower next to a pile of his poop. Lovely no?

He had apparently been competing in the Bad Cat Trifecta. I know this is not a real competition but if it was, I am sure Buddy would have received a medal, nothing less than a silver.

Did I mention this was all before we could even start the morning coffee brewing? Needless to say kitty spent the rest of the morning in the basement, near his cat litter pans (yes, he has two of them just for his own personal use). I still love the little oddball and so believe it or not does Tom (I saw him snuggling with the cat before he went to work that day). However, Tom has learned an important life lesson for living with Buddy. He may look innocent and he may seem harmless but do not ever take your eyes off of him when the sofas are uncovered.

Ah, the Fresh Aroma of Insomnia

So here it is, morning, and I am fully awake. I know some of you out there (if there is anyone out there, reading this blog that is, I know there are people, out, there...I think) are morning people, so this is not an issue. I am not one of those people and never have been. My boyfriend had to change from second shift to first shift in order to receive training on the new project he is assigned to. I, his dependable alarm clock, have been getting up at 5:30 a.m. to make sure he does not fall back to sleep (and to make sure a decent pot of coffee gets brewed). Normally I can fall back to sleep, but not today.

So here I am off work, no school, 4 hours of sleep and I am awake for the duration. Further more, I feel wide awake (hence the fact that every other word I type does not need editing...just every sixth or seventh, like normal). Something is way wrong with the universe. Just thought you should know.